![image.png](https://images.hive.blog/DQmZrYLU9Nvs8xRzgbe8kxZUdNSbZX3ZQJdoAddeLD4Fdcn/image.png) *Baines and Wainright often meet early in the morning to discuss their respective trades and events happening in-town. They set their own schedule, as Baines was a private investor and Wainright a collector of fine antiquities through the acquisition of land.* *As it so happens, the mornings were best for them to convene and discuss anything weighing on their minds. Today, Baines decided to discuss something weighing on his heart.*

I am afraid I am in love. Well, how do you know this? I'm not entirely sure. But you state it as a fact. How do you know *know* **know** that you are in love? I can't say for certain. You are saying a part of you that you couldn't possibly fathom has sent word to you about something you don't fully understand? I don't know because the parts of me that could know anything. Or have known a subject are typically drawn there. Drawn by arousal or curiosity. Sometimes drawn by wanting to change or improve something in my life. But on this matter, all I know is the Lord has put her blessed name on my heart and has not relented. If He put her name there, then he must have some purpose behind it. I thought the same. I gave this burden back to Him and said, "How could this possibly be?" I just don't see this as the best time based on our schedules. So I waited and waited. The Lord, kept taking me, like a trainer instructing a dog, and grabbed my mind's collar and pointed my attention back in her direction. Then there came a time where my schedule freed up a bit, and I approached her about the matter. I felt I didn't give her enough time to prepare a response or have time to think about her response, but I just blurted out my feelings for her, and she said she didn't share those feelings. There you have it. Good on you for confirming this. Maybe the nerves made your lips flap like a pirate flag, but you settled the matter. Friend, I settled absolutely nothing. You just said you confirmed she didn't share your feelings. Relationships do require two people. To charter that voyage, a party of two must be on the ship's muster. All the places you will go, where you have been and where you have yet to know, require an agreement. A trust that you can lean on and into despite the unpredictable weather or troublesome events to come. I know, but the Lord did not relent. He kept grabbing my collar. He sent signs in the heavens and on earth. He sent messengers in my dreams. Everywhere my soul could run, he sent His word. And I begged him to free me of this love. Because it seemed to have no place on this earth. I requested permission to move from under the heavy cloud of this affection. But he said, "I don't place love in one's heart by accident. Just as I don't say anything without having a purpose behind it." At this point, I was a bit mad, for it seemed I was given a charge that only I could hear. I begged the Lord to explain how I was to honor this responsibility. He simply replied, "Pray for her." Are you going to ask God to make her love you? That is pure madness. No, I would do nothing of the sort. Why would God make love only to be applied via coersion? But free will is one of the rarest gifts given to any sentient being. I thought for days as to how I would pray and prevent myself from desiring anything but the best for her, as my love for her dictated these terms. And then I found a way to do it. What did you say? Often times I would wait. I let the heaviness of this love drop my heart into my gut, so that I felt as though even a fine meal would give me no pleasure. Then I would use my surroundings to dictate the prayer. Quit selling this! Show me what you mean. If I were to pass by our town square and see the harsh winter light blinding the eastern corridors, I would say something like this.

Oh Lord, as Your magnificent light
abrupty grazes my feeble eyes
May You, by Your grace, give my love measured blessing
that she might taste the nuances she would pass by
Even if I don't benefit in anyway
And only have memories of her to bless me
Grace her with this gift on earth
Of glorified common pleasantries

And anything that would catch my attention, whether it be a boon or bane, I would turn into an altruistic prayer. And often I would request these prayers be for her highest good and the highest good of everyone she is connected to. I could see this being a kind thing. But shouldn't you let this be? How could you be in love with someone and pray for them for months on end? Wouldn't you go absolutely mad? Yes. I did go mad. Several times, in fact. But for this, I was given peace in acknowledging the gift the Lord gave me for His precious creation. This seems to be a sad tale, my friend. I hope someone who loves you in word and deed crosses your path. That isn't the point. I think for this time, the Lord wants me to be guided by my heart. To know what it feels like to only have His word and nothing but a bridge of faith to cross a seemingly wide chasm. *Wainwright took a leave from our morning encounters upon reflection how I depicted love. Deep down he viewed it more of a spontaneous feeling and while the definition of God is Love stood its own ground, romatic love, he felt was more of a human connection. With only my thoughts and prayers to guide me, I asked the Lord to give me counsel.* Lord, I knew love as a spontaneous feeling, but in this hour, with Lady Adderly, I feel like there is something karmic or fated about this encouter. But I swing like a grandfather clock pendulum and doubt myself as normally in love there is evidence that clearly attests to a connection. Please open my heart and mind on this matter. Baines, you need to know that love is precisely what you know and what you don't. It could be that you are to pray altruistically, but it may be you that is holding on to something. That could be due to your energies or due to a fear of not finding someone you find as lovely as Lady Adderly. But all I ask is that you remain open. And there is a large piece missing from your description of love. Yes, Lord, I imagined so. Because all I have of love is what I have known up to now. And clearly my heart is pushing me into new waters that I am unfamiliar with. Indeed, you are unfamiliar, but I would recommend this manner of thinking. When you fall in love—in genuine love for them in ways that begin to approximate divine love—you are not responding to God placing a name on your heart. You are not even responding to your own knowledge of the woman that has consumed your gaze. It is better to think of it this way. There are two parts that provide you with complete confirmation that this is a good way to use your heart energy. One thing to consider is that if you are deeply in love with a woman, the Lord has allowed you to see her as He does. To see into the macro and micro aspects of her world and see them with admiration closer to how He sees. It is maddening because the human heart and mind can't hold that high level of love without having some sort of breakdown. But the breakthrough that follows, if you survive, is what is intended by harboring this love. The second concept is that the Lord would never place someone on your heart and have the same person love you if there was no mutual benefit. Like attracts like, and thus your energy at the moment of being in love attracts someone at your same energy level. It is a risk because if, in time, you both begin to drift in vibration, her becoming more or less loving and you doing the opposite, you will grow apart, and the love vision of God you once held will dissolve as the lower vibrational being succumbs to fears and thoughts of worthlessness or visions of self or the other that are not divine and often can be harmful and untrue. It is no small thing to view another being as God does, and in truth, the Trinity desires that you view all sentient beings as God does, not just those who happen to turn your head. Because God is in all and He is irresistable. I see now that loving is seeing another as God sees them even if this is diminished to the level one can handle. And if I love someone, there may be a chance to connect if we vibrate similarly over time, but at that point even if we do connect, there is a risk if we aren't growing the vision that God gave us at the start. You say karmic or fated, but even with those forms of connections. Even if you have a past life connection with someone and you are drawn to them faster than you would expect, there is still risk. Even if they awaken powers in you beyond your imagination, there is still risk. And this risk is that either of you may not embrace the unknowns outside of your comfort zone. You may be harboring a wound that you were meant to heal. There are many things that could diminish the vision God has shared with His beloved. But for any moment you can remain in that dedicated love and grow therein, you have the ability to reflect the Lord in a unique way. This is why one must always inquire and check to see if the object of affection is truly for one's best and highest good and always take inventory of the energies at play in each other's life to ensure the individuals and the couple are responding to all the universe brings to them in a better way each day.

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